We have had our dog for nearly 5 months and I haven’t written much about her. And yet here she is showing up in back to back posts. But when I have a story, I have to share it.
She likes to keep her identity secret as well, so her real name will not be revealed here. Instead I refer to her as TOWPO which stands for The One Who Poops Outside. Incidentally, thanks for the hilarious comments you all left on the post about her “scooting”. It has subsided so I am thinking it may have just been a case of IBS…. Itchy Butt Syndrome.
Like most people I have my morning routines. I get up early enough to sit and watch TV while eating breakfast with some coffee. My Lady Friend leaves for work about an hour before I do, so it’s usually just me and the dog.
So the other morning I was sitting there eating my cereal on the couch. Yeah, I know that’s pretty lazy but I can’t see the damn TV from the dining room table. My coffee had gone cold – which is a huge pet peeve of mine. So I went to re-heat it in the microwave, putting the bowl down on the couch.
Not 10 seconds into my coffee ‘nuking’ I hear a sound in the living room suspiciously like a dog lapping milk and cereal out of a bowl. Zipping back into the living room my suspicions are confirmed.
“HEY! NOOO!!!” I shout at TOWPO but she doesn’t slow down, look up or even bat an eye. She’s determined.
I move towards her shouting NO again but she doesn’t move at all until I get to her and physically pull her away from the bowl. Then she looks up at me (rapidly licking the milk off her chops) as if I am some kind of an asshole for disrupting her breakfast.
It’s then that I realize I kind of am disrupting it, as I had yet to feed her. Granted, I usually feed her right before leaving for work so it’s not like she was starving or anything – she was just opportunistic!
I’d had just 5 or 6 bites of the cereal so this really bummed me out.
For some folks they would dump the cereal in the sink and the story would end here. But I really like my cereal and I was still hungry. And I am a cheap ass. So this presented a dilemma for me. To eat, or not to eat… that was the question. She’s not a big slobbering Saint Bernard or anything, but still… it’s a little gross.
Then I started thinking… I let her lick my face. What’s the difference? So I ate the cereal.
Don’t judge me.