Have you ever found yourself in an amazing situation where the stars all seemed to align in the perfect way, only to have them slip through your fingers at the last minute? We’ve all been there, surprised at how things seem just TOO perfect. When things seem too good to be true? They usually are.
This happened to a friend of mine once… and it involved boobs. Not my boobs, or any man boobs for the matter. Real, legitimate girl boobs. Nice ones too. You see, this particular friend of mine has been obsessed with boobs his whole life. Big ones, little ones, flat ones, flabby ones. He doesn’t care.
Many years ago this friend, myself and few other dudes were out at a real crappy dive bar. A true shit hole.
On a side note: I was back at the same bar just over a year ago and wrote about a horrible misprint on their menu in a blog post here, titled We’re All Screwed. The bar hasn’t changed in 20 years and neither have most of the clientele.
Back to the story. Towards the end of the night a buddy of mine and I were chatting up a girl who appeared to be a regular. She was pretty plain. Not ugly, not attractive. Just real plain. But she had a unique feature.. big, fake boobs.
Like a typical guy, that feature intrigued me. And REALLY intrigued my boob loving buddy. She told us how they were still pretty new and was very proud of them. How proud? She loved to show them off. She was more than willing to flash anyone who asked. I know what you’re thinking, how did she not get kicked out of the bar? Did you forget when I said what a shit hole this place is??
After awhile it was closing time and my buddy was trying to make his move with this girl. It wasn’t going to happen though, she made that pretty clear. As a concession, he asked if she’d let us take a picture of him with her exciting new expensive purchase. Or “purchases” I guess. And as expected, she was more than willing.
This was more than 10 years ago, when digital cameras were still pretty new and didn’t yet exist on cell phones. Not everyone owned one, so the ability to capture a digital moment in time was still pretty special.
I was the first of my friends to get a digital, and had it out in the car. I went out to get it, then met the girl and my buddy just inside the entrance to the bar – it was the dead of winter here in Minnesota and I knew there was no way we’d get her to do this outside.
I turn on the camera and the screen pops on while my buddy moves in next to her with a big smile on his face, giving the thumbs up sign. She then lifts her shirt in the familiar way she’d been doing all night for anyone who cared. I go to click the picture and the button won’t click. I tell them to hold on a second while I turn it off and back on. Then the same thing happens. She’s starting to get cold standing there next to the door, but hangs in like a trooper.
The camera was pretty new to me and I couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on. After a few minutes she said she had to go and left. The next day it worked just fine, and it dawned on me that it had been frozen from being outside in the car all day / night. Yes, it was that cold – plus it was an early digital camera, they’ve come a long way since.
My buddy thought I was screwing around, and was actually taking a few photos while pretending to get it to work. When I told him the truth he was heartbroken. He brought that night up a few weeks ago.. I am not sure he has ever gotten over it. Poor boob loving guy.