I watch a lot of really crappy TV shows. One could say a shitload of crappy TV but would that be weirdly redundant? Either way I watch plenty. And this is not a complaint. I could do other things.. read books, surf the net for nudie pics, work on my blog.

Note to self… Idea for new blog: write about surfing the net for books with nudie pics.
But I choose to watch this crappy TV so how CAN I complain? There is part of me that is not only intrigued by crappy TV but downright craves it. Don’t get me wrong, I watch a lot of really great TV too.

Current shows like Californication, Modern Family, Big Bang Theory and Rescue Me are all among my favorites. But it seems a lot of the subjects of my bad TV obsessions revolve around reality TV on various cable channels.

The latest is one the Lady Friend was watching a couple weeks ago and since then it’s been added to our DVR list. It’s called My Strange Addiction and it’s on TLC. This clip is from an earlier episode about a woman who is addiction to eating toilet paper.

I guess if there is any saving grace in her story it’s that she is eating it before it gets used. But this is typical of the weird fuckers on this show. In the shows I have watched they’ve had people addicted to bodybuilding, to buying shoes, thumb sucking, tanning and one of my favorites: eating Comet. You know, that powdery kitchen cleanser… pretty sure that shit is poison, but she’d been doing it for years so maybe not. Of course it has slowly rotted away her teeth – the dentist she visited on the show said she had “meth mouth”. Nice.

These people are all messed up in various ways but the one that took the cake was April whose addiction was puppets. Not just any puppets, she’s addicted to ventriloquist dummies. She has a ton of them that she brings everywhere she goes – often using them to speak for her. She was engaged to a guy (poor bastard) that got fed up with it and gave her the ultimatum of “them or me”. She chose the damn dummies – so the dude (a dummy in his own right) kicked her to the curb.

I haven’t had a chance to watch this week’s episode yet but I’m looking forward to it. It involves a lady who is addicted to wearing furry costumes. No shit. Like those furry sex weirdos. Although I don’t think they talk about the sex aspect – just the fact that she wears the damn thing around town. But seriously isn’t that what those people are into? Getting it on in those things? I don’t know much about it, but do they dry hump or something? Or are their strategically placed holes?

I am sure some of my Simpletons will be able to shed some light on the whole mascot humpin’ thing… not that you’re into that or anything. Hmmmm….

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